I rarely ever think of my father. I haven’t truly thought of him in a long time. I do not see the point. He’s gone. I can’t bring him back. It’s not like I even want to. Maybe that sounds bad, but, really… What’s the point?
However, as I was listening to the song “Stars” past 1 am this morning, I got surprisingly emotional. I’ve never denied the fact that music, films, and letters affect me deeply. I’m someone who gravitates to works that resonate with how I feel. Amanda Brown reeled me in with her voice. When I heard her last week on “The Voice,” I was beyond moved. She looked like she felt the song, as did I. I loved it. I love her!
Amanda was teary-eyed singing this, leading me to wonder what the story behind the song was. Thus, I went on YouTube and, there, saw Grace Potter’s absolutely awe-inspiring performance of the song. I discovered out how it was about her friend who passed away. Halfway through the song, I just couldn’t help but think of that one person in my life whom I wished I had more time to know.
I don’t know how many times I alternated between the versions of Amanda and Grace before I fell asleep. They were both beautiful! Although, ironically, this song made me muster enough courage to look at the stars. It’s painful to. But it is in looking at them, I see the point. I remember my dad—maybe not much about him, but just him. I wonder where he is… Wherever that may be, I hope the stars shine brighter than they do here, and that he can look at them without guilt despite the bittersweet and what-if’s.
P.S. Thank you, Amanda, for introducing me to “Stars.” Thank you, Grace, for writing such a beautiful song. Thank you, music, for being such a great and comforting force in my life.